funny poopy story

2 months ago
#25633
awkwardnigga96's Profile Picture
awkwardnigga96
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Jimmy Red
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Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
2 months ago
#127071
loaf of bowlin
g balls
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Kamakaziepilot Lotchino
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im going to rdm you
2 months ago
#128340
awkwardnigga96
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320 Posts
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Jimmy Red
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Please do :))))
2 months ago
#128572
awkwardnigga96
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320 Posts
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January 2019
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Jimmy Red
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19 days, 3 hours, 3 minutes and 9 seconds
Lil cell said that too


Could lochie be lil cell!!!??!?!??
1 month ago
#128578
Swag_Man_64
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October 2019
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1 days, 17 hours, 25 minutes and 51 seconds
im going to rdm you
1 month ago
#128729
awkwardnigga96
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320 Posts
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January 2019
RP Name
Jimmy Red
Police Rank
Senior Constable
Total Playtime
19 days, 3 hours, 3 minutes and 9 seconds
im going to ban your alt